Box Traps

When I graduated college, I moved to Baton Rouge. I was excited to be out on my own, but still struggling to figure out what I wanted to do for a "real job". I was working part time at a museum, and taking paralegal classes at night.

The biggest struggle that I had, was finding a church home.

I visited one of the Baptist churches, and was ushered to a Sunday School class after the service. I wasn't ready for it, but I went along anyway. I felt it would be rude to say I wasn't ready, but looking back, I should have been more vocal.

Since I had graduated college, I was placed in a Young Adult class. The only problem with the class was that I was at a different life stage than everyone in the room. I was 22, they were all in their 30s and up. I had never been in a serious relationship, many of them were divorced or engaged. I was extremely uncomfortable, and anytime I asked to be put in a class with people more my age, I was told this was where I belonged.

I ended up not going to church for a few years because I felt trapped in a box that I didn't fit in. I was a circle trying to fit in a square hole, and it made me feel inadequate.

Why do we always try to fit people into the boxes that we create? More importantly, why do we get so upset when people don't fit into our pre-made boxes?

I don't want this to sound like I'm picking on the church, but it's one of the best examples that I have. Many churches tend to evaluate you based on your life stages before putting you into a Sunday School class. Are you married/divorced/windowed/single? Do you have kids? How old are you? These are the questions used to evaluate where you will "fit".

But don't we all do that in life?

I have to say that I stopped going to Sunday School classes because of that until I joined our current church. (There have been a few stops in between, but those are stories to share for another time.) I'm the youngest person in my current Sunday School class, and I'm also in a class with my parents. I love my class, and couldn't imagine being in a different one! (I tried it for a week, but again, another story for another time.)

I am grateful that my church didn't try to put me in a box, because anxiety attacks in a church parking lot aren't pretty. (Speaking from experience) I don't fit in this box, but it doesn't matter. The people in my class, although at different life stages, have helped me grow more in my relationship with Christ and have made me want to grow more.


Let's make a pact to try our hardest not to put people in boxes. Let's make a pact to not make people feel so trapped by our expectations for them, that we let them wander out of our lives because they refused to be what we wanted them to be. Let's make a pact to not let the "boxes" people fit in define them to us.

Are you with me?