Love Languages Revisited

One of the things mentioned in this book about love languages, is when couples talk about how their partner used to do things before they were married, but then stopped doing those same things once they were married. It was as if their spouse was willing to speak love to them before the commitment, but once the commitment was made, it was as if they didn't feel the need to.

Of course, this wasn't the case for most couples in the book, but I know the feeling. (Even though I'm not married.)

My boyfriend and I met online. Before we made the relationship official, he would talk to me on social media, flirt with me on social media, etc. He would also do little things to show he listened to me. (Like show up at my apartment with my favorite pizza, ice cream and adult beverage) He bought me my own 12th man towel at the first Aggie game we went to. (It's still sweet, even though it's a 12th man towel. And I've reclaimed it from kiddo, so it's mind again.)

Then we confirmed the relationship. And everything changed. I didn't even get a gift for my birthday, much less just because he cares. There are no little surprises. The flirting via social media is extremely rare, as is just general conversation. In fact, I'm so off the radar on his social media, that many of the peeps he speaks with on a regular basis didn't even know I existed...much less that I existed for a year. When your boyfriend spends a solid portion of time conversing with his friends online, that's a huge blow to a girl's ego.

His friends don't know I exist. Getting a nod on social media anymore is a challenge. I'm at the point of thinking is it even worth it for us to be connected on social media. As far as online boyfriend is concerned, I don't exist. Real life boyfriend says I exist, but I don't know which one is the REAL boyfriend. (That's the ongoing personal struggle for me.)

I feel the book needs to be revised to add a dialect to Words of Affirmation - the dialect of "I'm not embarrassed to speak with you or about you on social media." After all, what greater affirmation can there be than to have tweets about your awesomeness archived by the Library of Congress?