This is the first Valentine's Day in a very long time (over 10 years) that I've had plans more involved than sitting on my couch in my pjs, eating pizza, and watching trashy tv. I've never been bitter about Valentine's Day. It's always just been another day to me. (The day after Valentine's Day was always more important due to the discounted candy.) I try to empathize with people who are bitter about the holiday, most of them being singles who are single for various reasons. I get that it can suck to not be in a relationship. I totally get that it sucks for the person you thought you would spend the rest of your life with happens to not be someone who is in your life anymore. I get all of that. I've been there. I don't understand the bitterness towards a Hallmark holiday that is designed to provide an approved day for people to show they care. Should you show the people you love that you care more than just one day a year? Absolutely. But for people like me who aren't totally comfortable with the traditional outward displays of love, it's nice to have a day set aside for that to be ok.
Perhaps that's why I've never really looked on Valentine's Day as holiday that has offended me. I've never felt that couples should hide their coupleness on Valentine's Day just to make me feel better about being single. I've never had a problem with being single. (Except for a brief period in time after the whole "So, I love you and said I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, but...PSYCH!" moment.) I've learned that there are different kinds of love that can, and should, be celebrated, and my friend Erika does a great job of reminding people of that on Valentine's Day:
"Today, whether you're single, part of a couple, or somewhere in between, remember that there are many different kinds of love: love for one's self, love for one's partner, love for one's friends, love for one's family, love for one's world. Treat everyone you meet today with love and kindness- not because it's Valentine's day, but simply because it's the right thing to do." - My awesome friend Erika
This year, I will be spending Valentine's Day with TF at a Boyz II Men concert. (They're on the casino tour, that should tell you all you need to know about where they are career wise.) I woke up uber ecstatic about this concert. That went downhill fast when a few of you alerted me to this bitter party he was a part of on Twitter. Granted, TF was not fully in bitter mode, but his encouragement of people's right to be bitter today has put a damper on my excitement. If he feels people have a right to be bitter today, I honestly feel like he's only spending today with me because he feels it's some sort of obligation. To be honest, I would be happy being at home by myself in my pjs, eating pizza, and watching trashy tv. Would I prefer to be spending today with him? Of course I would, but I don't want to spend today with someone who sees it as an obligation when I could be spending it with people I love, even if I love them in a non-romantic way. I've always felt today isn't a day to celebrate romantic love, but a day to celebrate love in the many forms that it comes in. I fully agree with the thoughts above from my friend. My personal opinion? But the only people who should be bitter today are the people who have nobody who either loves them currently, or has loved them in the past, in any capacity.
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