The One Where I Reflect

(Warning! This post is more random reflections than formed thoughts.) 

Something is different about this Veteran's Day. I can't put my finger on it, but for the first time in my life, my dad has voluntarily chosen to let the world know that he is a Veteran. He stood to be honored at church, searched the house for his discharge papers to prove his status for freebies today, and was rocking his Vietnam Veteran shirt when I left the house this morning. 

This isn't like my dad. He's done a very good job of keeping his service almost a secret. There are only two stories I've ever heard my father tell about his service. 

One story he shares is the Christmas he spent in Vietnam. He was in his mid-twenties and was the oldest member of his platoon. He had heard the stories of what all of the kids wanted to do with their lives, and then sent a list to his mom of small tokens to give them at Christmas to remind them of what they would be going home to. (Example, one kid wanted to be a detective, so my dad had my grandma buy him a Dick Tracey detective kit.) 

The other is a partial story about his coming back to Louisiana. He went to the field to see my grandpa (who was a drag line operator). My grandpa told him to go home because another worker had just gotten the telegram that his son wasn't coming home. When my dad got home, he learned that his mom had thrown away his baseball card collection. He was a man now, so she didn't think he would mind. 

My father refuses to talk about Vietnam with us. I feel a large part of that was because he was a soldier by chance, not by choice. I overheard my dad and another Vietnam vet that lives in my complex swapping stories. It may seem weird, but the connection I've seen with Vietnam vets seems to be different than those of other veterans. 

One time, my brother found his stuff and then my dad turned around and hid it somewhere better. Neither of us has found it since. Granted, I haven't gone looking for it. If my dad wants me to know, he'll tell me. Until then, I'll respect his privacy. 

My dad has started to be a little more open about his service, but not much. He has alluded to things, but never confirmed. As military intelligence, there are many things I'm sure he CAN'T share with us. Many of my friends who are history professors would love to talk to him, but he refuses. Maybe one day he'll share more, maybe he won't. 

Veteran's Day always makes me reflect on the mystery that his my dad. He always told us that we don't always get to chose the path we take, but that doesn't mean we can't do our best with the path we've been given. My dad learned that early when he was told to be a soldier, and it's hard to argue with someone who was told they were going to war over being told you have to do certain chores. 

I'm proud of my dad, even if he sometimes isn't proud of himself. I wouldn't have the courage to be sent into situations that he's been in. I don't know what's made him change his thoughts on acknowledging his own service, but I'm grateful for whatever it is. He deserves to be proud. 

 Let's all take a moment to remember that some veterans didn't come home to a warm welcome, so days like today are difficult to them. Veteran's Day should be every day, but we all tend to forget important things, so it's nice to have a day set aside to remind us. Thank a vet today, and remind them that their service was important.