The One That Played Out Like a Song

If you didn't know any better, you could say that my most recent relationship played out perfectly to a song off of One Direction's latest album. Fool's Gold seems to be the story of the relationship, at least from my end.

I’m like a crow on a wire/You’re the shining distraction that makes me fly/I’m like a boat on the water/You’re the raise on the waves that calm my mind/Oh every time
And I know in my heart you’re not a constant star

I seemed to have a sense that this wasn't going to last from the beginning. He was all about moving back home, and I'm not in a position for a long distance relationship right now. I have more responsibilities than I used to, being a parent and all, and now that I work in sports, it's more difficult to get away just for a weekend and spend time with anyone.

But he was a nice distraction for me. He made me feel like maybe I could be worth it to someone in the end. Maybe someone would actually like being around me for me, and not what I could do for them. For the first time, in many years, I made an effort to be committed to this relationship.

And I was.

And yeah I’ve let you use me from the day that we first met/But I’m not done yet/Falling for you/
Fool’s gold/And I knew that you’d turn it on for everyone you met/But I don’t regret falling for your
Fool’s gold

I always felt like, on some level, I was a rebound. He still wasn't over his ex-wife, and it was more than a little obvious. Somehow I felt that this was what I needed at the time. Someone could maybe couldn't give me a hundred percent because I felt that I wasn't in a position to give someone a hundred percent. And if you don't give someone a hundred percent, then you can't get hurt, right?

About the second or third time we hung out, I realized that I needed to be all in because it wasn't fair to either of us if I flaked out. I stopped communicating with all casual sex partners. No flirting with guys just for the sake of flirting or to see if they would throw me a bone. I even stopped hanging out with my male friends exclusively. Since his ex-wife had cheated on him, I didn't want to give him any reason to believe that I would do the same.

It took many fights and a very long time before I got the same from him. He's a flirt. He's BIG into throwing out compliments on a woman's attractiveness (unless he's dating them, at least that was my experience). He would talk very openly and publicly about fetish sex with another female, and then basically told me it was me or her at one point very early in our relationship. I rolled with it, but soon it was too much to be second best to everyone else.

I’m the first to admit that I’m reckless/I get lost in your beauty and I can’t see two feet in front of me/And I know in my heart, you’re just a moving part

I took my thoughts to the blog I had started about my online dating experience, and it was really the only way that I could put my thoughts out to him where I felt like he would listen to them and not get instantly defensive. This also opened our entire relationship, the good, the bad, and the ugly, to my friends. Many of them reminded me of the similarities to some of my past relationship attempts that proved, just as the song said, he's a moving part and will be leave once I become fully invested.

I didn't listen. I turned into THAT girl that I always complained about my friends being. The one who truly believed that if you love someone enough things will turn around. "Sure, he was with another girl when my friend and I were having car trouble and he wouldn't leave to come help us, but next time he TOTALLY will!" "Sure, he's never told me I'm attractive but will tell almost anything with a vagina it's hot if it will make them feel better, but ONE DAY!" "I know it's been a year and most of his friends don't even know I exist, but it can't be because he doesn't want to be with me. It must not have come up, yet." "Sure, he's never waned to see me completely undressed and doesn't look at me when we're getting frisky, but that's because I could stand to lose a few pounds."

THAT girl. The one that everyone blesses her heart because she's delusional and pathetically in love with a man who she knows doesn't love her back in the same way.

And yeah I’ve let you use me from the day that we first met/But I’m not done yet/Falling for you
Fool’s gold/And I knew that you’d turn it on for everyone you met/But I don’t regret falling for you
Fool’s gold

I didn't want to believe it because I really liked him. I enjoyed his company. He was ok sitting on the couch and watching my trashy reality shows with me. (Was that a sign?) He was ok going with me to my library even if I would be there for hours selecting just the right books to take home. He was ok with my cooking, even when it was terrible. He would come to games I was working and watch, sometimes, really bad games. I liked him so much that I asked him to meet my child (which he flaked out....sign, maybe?). I liked him so much that I invited him to help with my Christmas decorating tradition, which until last year, was a solo act by choice.

Yeah I know your love's not real/That’s not the way it feels/That’s not the way you feel

Somewhere, deep down, I knew he didn't love me like I loved him. I knew he loved me more like his female friends. He would never really open up to me. He would let me get a foot in the door of his life, but that was as far as he was willing to let me in. At first, I thought he was just scared. Then after a year, I realized it was by choice. Sure, he claimed it wasn't. He said he loved me, but I'd seen him tell many females that he loved them and then he would turn around and tell me that he didn't mean it in the same way. To me, if you're telling everyone you love them, how does that make me special?

It didn't feel that his love was just platonic for me, even though I knew it was. When he would look at me, I felt like maybe he really did love me. Looking back, I think he may have wanted to, but he chose not to show it out of fear.

In the end, life hit him in a big way. Things happened that blindsided me. I felt some of them I should have at least been given a heads up on, only in the sense of "hey, I know we talked about that trip, but you might not want to spend money on it because it might not happen".

He didn't trust me.

To me, you can't love someone if you don't trust them. I'll admit that I haven't handled this very well these past few weeks. He's moved back home, and instantly went back to how he was in the early stages of our relationship. Even though we're not together, it hurts that he went back to that so quickly. It's made me feel like I really wasn't important. Like it didn't matter. As Marianus Trench would say, "This just feels so soon."

To show you how not well I'm taking it, my neighbor caught me going all office space on the gift I bought him for Christmas. He was supposed to be here. He was supposed to be helping me decorate for Christmas. I was supposed to be cooking for him. Instead, I was here and he wasn't. It stung a little bit. Ok, I won't lie, it stung a lot.

And yeah I’ve let you use me from the day that we first met/But I’m not done yet/Falling for you
Fool’s gold/And I knew that you’d turn it on for everyone you met/But I don’t regret falling for you
Fool’s gold

I know that I'll be fine, Do I regret opening myself up to the pain I'm experiencing now? Not at all. Do I hope that he truly finds happiness? Absolutely. Do I hope that he finds someone that he can trust? Of course. Do I hope that he finds someone that he isn't ashamed to tell his friends about and/or be seen out in public with? Yep. Do I hope he finds someone that he also finds attractive? Damn right!

But do you want to know what I hope he finds most of all?

I hope he finds true happiness in himself. I hope he opens himself up to let people care about him, even if it means he might get hurt. I hope he doesn't let life kick him in the ass and keep him down. I hope he realizes that he IS worth it. I hope he realizes that he's an awesome guy and doesn't need to pretend to be someone he's not so people will like him. I hope he realizes that if he does have to pretend, then those people aren't worth his time. I hope he realizes that life doesn't always play out how we would like it to, but always plays out how it's supposed to.

<3

The One Where I Share My Bucket List

I think everyone has some sort of Bucket List. Even if we never write it down, we all have a few things that we want to accomplish in life. Some people have important things on their Bucket List. My Bucket List has been reserved for fun things. I try to keep it light, because I feel that the important things will happen if I'm receptive to them. I don't want to force any major things to happen just because I feel like that have to, like being married by a certain age or having a certain number of children.

I keep my Bucket List light because I feel that these are things that I can work to make happen. Besides, who doesn't want to have a little fun in life?

In today's Top 5 at 5, I share with you the top 5 items on my Bucket List:

I want to visit every state in the United States. 

I actually seem to doing quite well on this one. However, I'm not sure when I'll be able to hit up any of the other states that are left, but I like to think I have a long time to try. 

I want to see every MLB team at home. 

This goal originally started out as seeing a game in every stadium. At the rate teams are blowing through stadiums, that goal will never be achieved. I modified it to state what I really wanted, which was to see every MLB team play a game at home. Here's the progress so far: 

       

 

  

  

Not doing so hot on this one. Limited funds, less time to travel, and the small kiddo that I love, have become factors in this one being put on a hold for a while. 

I want to see every Triple Crown race. 

I'm very close to locking this one up! I know, I know, many of you are thinking "Duh, it's ONLY three races!" What you aren't realizing is the amount of money it costs to attend each of these races. The reason that I haven't hit up the Belmont yet, is because there aren't very many hotels near where the track is, and New York City is expensive. That's definitely one that will have to wait for a while. 

      

Consolation: I have been to the Breeder's Cup

I want to take two road trips every year. 

One with family. One with friends. To some people this may be more a goal than a bucket list item, but I keep it on my bucket list. I'm not talking major road trips. It can be a road trip to a city a couple of hours away. I think that road trips are an excellent way to bond with people, and it allows you to have memories together. I know some people think "but what if the person I road trip with isn't in my life at some point?" My advice? Go anyway! While it's sad for me that some people I have road tripped with are not in my life, I don't regret the trips or the memories. Even if things ended on poor terms, you always have those happy memories to remember them by. 

I want to see the Dropkick Murphys live on St. Patrick's Day.

I know, right? St. Patrick's Day in Boston. I must be crazy. And looking for a sugar daddy to fund it. Nope, and nope. I'm aware that this may never happen, but that's why it's a Bucket List, right? I've seen DKM live a few times. In my mind, their St. Patrick's Day show is bigger and better than any that I've seen or been to. I want then experience of going to one of their concerts where people actually know the songs. (More than just "that song from The Departed") One day this will happen. I have faith. 

'Til next time! Have a great weekend!

The One Where We Pin-Failed?

I found this adorable Christmas craft on Pinterest, and thought that kiddo and I could do it together. It seemed easy enough, so I figured we would try it. 

They creations were supposed to look like this: 

(Click on the picture to get the instructions!)

Since I had some larger canvases laying around, I figured I could hang kiddo's masterpiece up in the living room next to where we will put the Christmas tree. 

She was SUPER excited and kept saying, "paint snowman family with your little hand" over and over and over. What we got, was....a little different. 

We started with a couple of cavnases. 

Kiddo was extremely excited about using her hand to paint. 

Then she got extremely excited about painting her own hand. 

This was some intense craft time, y'all. 

She didn't appreciate me taking pictures while she was busy creating her masterpiece 

(i.e. painting her hands)

Voila! Our finished product. Not exactly like the one on Pinterest, but kiddo had fun. 

So much fun that...

She wanted to paint her own hand and then make a blue snowman family. 

Because of all the fun that kiddo had, I wouldn't say we Pin-failed this Pinterest attempt. In fact, I need to hit the store and buy more canvases because kiddo wants to make so many more snowman families with her hand! 

Happy Holidays, y'all!

The One Where I Host a Pity Party

There are lots of things that I planned on doing blog drafts of today, but I've been in pity party mode.

Due to some personal issues, my boyfriend will be moving soon. There was a bomb dropped yesterday morning, and I knew the inevitable "I'm going to be moving" chat would be coming soon. It was brought up last night, and I spent a solid portion of the night crying myself to sleep.

I know some of you out there will say "long distance relationships can work!" and I used to be the one to say those things too. The problem is that being a single mom with a career that has you working a crazy schedule makes long distance relationships difficult.

I used to be the non-sports person in a long distance relationship and it was rough for both of us. When you make the effort to go visit the sports person for a weekend and they have to work every day, it can get frustrating. I know that it's not fair to either one of us to keep the relationship as it is if he's moving.

So today, I had a pity party.

I've told myself that when things get bad, I get one day to feel sorry for myself and then I have to get over it. That doesn't mean I won't have moments of sadness, it just means I get one day to have a pity party in style.

I've spent my day eating way too much pizza, too many Oreos, drinking too much Coke, and watching cheesy movies on Netflix. My movie selections of the day:

(1) Backwards (Staring Dawson from Dawson's Creek ... hottie!)
When a fiercely competitive rower fails to make the Olympics, she takes a coaching job at a school but struggles to adjust to life off the course. 

(2) Christmas Bounty (Staring The Miz from MTV...so it's quality!)
A former bounty hunter turned elementary school teacher is determined keep her past and her wild family business a secret from her fiancé. 

(3) Nativity 2: Danger in the Manger (Staring David Tennant and ...DAVID TENNANT!)
An anxious teacher at an underperforming school sets out on a road trip with some students to enter the kids in a Christmas song competition.

(4) Christmas Crush (Staring ... people ...)
Twentysomething Georgia pines for her old boyfriend and is thrilled to have a second chance at love when she attends their high school reunion

(5) Scents and Sensibility (You know I'm in depression mode if I'm watching something with this title)
Forced out of a life of privilege when their dad goes to jail, two sisters take on menial work until they come up with a sweet-smelling business idea.

I haven't just been binge-movie watching and binge-eating. I DID get a flu shot and a workout in today. Now I'm trying to decide what movie I'll end the night on. I better make it good, because tomorrow, the pity party is over.

The One Where I Bake ... BEFORE WORK!

As I've mentioned before, my nickname is Betty Crocker due to my limited culinary abilities. I try to set a goal to attempt two new culinary adventures each month. Sometimes they delve more on the baking side, like this one. 

I saw these breakfast cookies on Pinterest and they seemed super easy, so I figured that I would try them. Did I want to wait and try them when I had lots of time? NO! I came home from working our volleyball game on Thursday night and started the process. 

Mix a block of cream cheese, 1/4c of sugar and 2tsp of vanilla together in a bowl. Easy enough, right? Even I can handle that! The recipe said to use a hand mixer, but since kiddo was sleeping and we have a small apartment, I opted to just use a spoon. I prefer mixing my hand anyway. 

Does that make me weird?

Roll out seamless crescent dough. The hardest part of this? Finding seamless crescent dough! It took multiple stores on my end, and then my parents found it on the first try. (Because my mom is awesome like that.) 

Spread the cream cheese mixture on the dough, and dump 1/2c of mini chocolate chips on top. If you're me, then you take the chocolate chips you already have, and just dump to your heart's content. 

Roll up and refrigerate over night. 

ZZZZZZ....

Friday morning, I woke up to this lovely little dough filled roll of goodness. As you can see by this picture, I have rolling issues. Cut this bad boy into slices and then place on a baking sheet. 

I also have slicing issues, as you can tell from the picture above. 

Pop in the oven at 350 for 12 minutes and VOILA!

 

You get these bad boys! They were a lot prettier in the picture on Pinterest, but they taste better than they look. (I swear!) It was like a super simple danish that I feel I'm going to be making for family occasions very soon. 

The One Where I Share My Guilty Pleasures

We all have guilty pleasures. If you say that you don't, I'm sorry, but I don't believe you. While most people tend to hide their guilty pleasures, I discuss mine often...and often very loudly.

If I haven't mentioned this on the blog before, there is a chance you will hear about them in the future. To prepare you, I present you with my top 5 guilty pleasures:

I've become slightly addicted to Swagbucks. For those of you not in the loop, Swagbucks is a website where you can earn bucks for performing various tasks that can then be redeemed towards gift certificates. Since I have to sit in front of a computer all day, I usually have Swagbucks tv going during the day. (I pop on UZoo and watch animals. It's relaxing.) I also run it on my phone while I'm working to rack up bucks. I play some of the games on my lunch break (I LOVE SwagMemory), and do some searches to earn extra bucks. First thing in the morning, I do the daily poll, special offers, tool bar, and daily crave for an easy 5 bucks. Let me tell you, those Wal-Mart gift cards have come in quite handy! 

I'm not talking about the Mamma Mia soundtrack that took the world by storm. I was in love with ABBA WAY before I ever heard of Mamma Mia. (which was in 2003) I can take or leave Dancing Queen, but I could rock out Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! and Take a Chance on Me all day, every day.

                                    

I love reality TV, but one of my guiltiest pleasures is America's Next Top Model. I'll admit that I've paid more attention this season because one of the models is from our town, and I love him! I've become way more into it than  I thought it would. (WILL FOR TOP MODEL!)

I've also become way more into Biggest Loser this season than I have in the past. I watch ever year, and sadly, tend to eat my dinner while watching it. I love watching people realize what they're capable of and turning their life around. It's a feel good reality show that I can get behind. I also enjoy that they've been changing the rules up lately so it's not the same show with different people every time. (Keep the themes!) 

I was majorly stoked that REO Speedwagon came to the Houston Rodeo. I drug my Texas Bestie with me to see them and we had a blast! I always tell people that I want to find a Can't Fight This Feeling type of love. Most people don't understand what I mean by that, so it's my way to introduce them to one of my favorite guilty pleasures. 

And last, but not least...

All of you know this one. I don't care that all of you tease me about my love of One Direction (or Louis.). Their albums mature with them, and I have no doubt that I will love their new album just as much as the last one, if not more. From the tracks that have been released so fat, it's going to be their best one yet. I consider One Direction similar to Mardi Gras in New Orleans, I'll always love it, but experiencing them live once was enough for me. That doesn't mean I don't keep the cds on repeat though. 

Have a great weekend y'all, and enjoy some of your own guilty pleasures while you're at it! 

The One Where We Craft

While I was scouring Swagbucks one day, I noticed they had an offer from Kiwi Crate. Kiwi Crate is a company that will send craft projects for your child to your doorstep each month. Kiddo LOVES craft projects, so I was intrigued. Would this be something that she would enjoy? Would this be worth the investment? There was a free trial package offer, so I snapped that up and waited. 

Kiddo had no idea this was coming, but I did. I waited anxiously for it. Kiddo is really in the age group for the Koala Crate, but I figured we would try it and see what happened. 

She LOVED it! While the actual crafting was a little advanced for her (she just turned 3), she sat there with me and "helped" me while I tackled the parts that she couldn't (or got tired of waiting on) and then jumped in to finish the project. 

Here are are a few snaps from our craft time: 

And before we finished, kiddo had to strike her over the shoulder top model pose: 

I would say our first adventure with Kiwi Crate was a success. I think Santa may be picking up a few of the stocking stuffers for her for Christmas. Kiddo's love of crafting means I'm about to spend more time in craft stores than I have in my entire life and that our house will have something I never thought it would have: a craft corner. 

Time to scour Pinterest for some ideas on crafts to make for Christmas! 

The One Where I Reflect

(Warning! This post is more random reflections than formed thoughts.) 

Something is different about this Veteran's Day. I can't put my finger on it, but for the first time in my life, my dad has voluntarily chosen to let the world know that he is a Veteran. He stood to be honored at church, searched the house for his discharge papers to prove his status for freebies today, and was rocking his Vietnam Veteran shirt when I left the house this morning. 

This isn't like my dad. He's done a very good job of keeping his service almost a secret. There are only two stories I've ever heard my father tell about his service. 

One story he shares is the Christmas he spent in Vietnam. He was in his mid-twenties and was the oldest member of his platoon. He had heard the stories of what all of the kids wanted to do with their lives, and then sent a list to his mom of small tokens to give them at Christmas to remind them of what they would be going home to. (Example, one kid wanted to be a detective, so my dad had my grandma buy him a Dick Tracey detective kit.) 

The other is a partial story about his coming back to Louisiana. He went to the field to see my grandpa (who was a drag line operator). My grandpa told him to go home because another worker had just gotten the telegram that his son wasn't coming home. When my dad got home, he learned that his mom had thrown away his baseball card collection. He was a man now, so she didn't think he would mind. 

My father refuses to talk about Vietnam with us. I feel a large part of that was because he was a soldier by chance, not by choice. I overheard my dad and another Vietnam vet that lives in my complex swapping stories. It may seem weird, but the connection I've seen with Vietnam vets seems to be different than those of other veterans. 

One time, my brother found his stuff and then my dad turned around and hid it somewhere better. Neither of us has found it since. Granted, I haven't gone looking for it. If my dad wants me to know, he'll tell me. Until then, I'll respect his privacy. 

My dad has started to be a little more open about his service, but not much. He has alluded to things, but never confirmed. As military intelligence, there are many things I'm sure he CAN'T share with us. Many of my friends who are history professors would love to talk to him, but he refuses. Maybe one day he'll share more, maybe he won't. 

Veteran's Day always makes me reflect on the mystery that his my dad. He always told us that we don't always get to chose the path we take, but that doesn't mean we can't do our best with the path we've been given. My dad learned that early when he was told to be a soldier, and it's hard to argue with someone who was told they were going to war over being told you have to do certain chores. 

I'm proud of my dad, even if he sometimes isn't proud of himself. I wouldn't have the courage to be sent into situations that he's been in. I don't know what's made him change his thoughts on acknowledging his own service, but I'm grateful for whatever it is. He deserves to be proud. 

 Let's all take a moment to remember that some veterans didn't come home to a warm welcome, so days like today are difficult to them. Veteran's Day should be every day, but we all tend to forget important things, so it's nice to have a day set aside to remind us. Thank a vet today, and remind them that their service was important. 

The One Where I Earned My Nickname

One of my best friends in the whole world has a nickname for me that has stuck with me since my freshman year of college. I take that back, I earned the nickname my freshman year, but it was not given to me until my sophomore year when I revealed my secret to her. Here's the story.

I've never been a great cook. In fact, I've never had an interest in cooking. My idea of cooking tends to be based on the "what can I toss in the microwave" philosophy over the "what ingredients do I have that go together that can be placed in an oven" philosophy.

One day after softball practice, I decided that I wanted a poptart. I know that you can eat them without heating them in a toaster, but I wanted my smores poptart to be ooey and gooey. My roommate and I did not have a toaster, so I decided that I would just pop it in the microwave.

There are microwave instructions on the box. I can't screw that up, right?

Wrong.

I took the poptart out of the box and tossed it in the microwave. Instead of the 10 seconds that the instructions told me to heat it, I set the microwave for 1 minute. (Have you noticed the step I forgot yet?)

After about 20 seconds, sparks begin flying from the microwave. I rush over to shut it off, and see a flaming poptart. Guess who forgot to take the poptart out of the foil wrapper.

In an effort to not have everyone on my floor know that I'm a complete culinary idiot, I did what any freshman would do. I put out the fire, praying the smoke alarm wouldn't go off, and then began my walk around the floor.

Once I had successfully made it to the complete opposite side of the floor, I tossed the poptart in the trashcan and continued the lap back to my dorm room.

Everyone on that hall was wondering what the awful smell was, and my roommate and I never revealed my secret. (She's awesome like that.) Towards the end of my sophomore year, I was telling one of my best friends who lived on the hall where I tossed the evidence, and after laughing so hard that I thought she would get sick, she nicknamed me Betty Crocker.

Betty Crocker has stuck with me to this day. There are a few dishes that I can make that would be referred to as "real cooking". For the most part, I tend to steer towards the grownup version of the microwave, the crockpot, to handle the cooking needs for my family.

And I've never placed a poptart in the microwave since. Lesson learned.

The One Where I Share My Wish List

It's 5:00 somewhere, right? Today I'm going to share with you the top 5 items from my wishlist at Fleurty Girl! 

Fleurty Girl is one of my absolute favorite stores. After I left Louisiana and moved to Tennessee, it became my equivalent of having home packed up and delivered to my door. Now that I'm in Texas, I've watched my wishlist grow and grow while I debate on having items shipped to me or planning a shopping spree and getaway to NOLA. 

It was extremely difficult to narrow down my list, but here are my top 5 WANTS/NEEDS/PLEASE BUY FOR ME items that Fleurty Girl sells: 

5) 

The Purple and Gold Louisiana Infinity Scarf

Isn't it adorable?! It's purple and gold (two colors that when put together only someone from Louisiana could love)!!! It also has the state of Louisiana on it to remind you of where you came from. Isn't that cool? Wouldn't it look great on me? I have an ever growing collection of scarves, so shouldn't I buy this to help complete it? 

4) 

The King Cake Apron

Let's be honest. I need an apron like I need a hole in my head. (I don't.) But the apron is speaking the truth! And it's on sale! And maybe if I had an apron I would spend more time in the kitchen trying to be domestic, or something...

3) 

Aimee Fleur de Lis Dress in Black and Gold

OMG!!! I could probably never pull this dress off, but I love it. It will forever stay on my wishlist just because it's adorable and I could see myself wearing it on Saints game days. Would I ever wear it on Saints game days? Probably not, but I could. That's all that matters when buying an outfit, right? 

2) 

Harvey's Seatbelt Bag Medium Tote

How adorable is this? And yes, out of all of the color options, I would want the purple one. It's a happy purse. I prefer my purses to be happy colors instead of the boring "I go with anything you wear" colors. I think fun color purses go with anything, don't you? 

1) 

Louisiana Is My Happy Place Mason Jar Tumbler

You don't know how many times I've almost pulled the trigger on this one. I need it more than I want it. Louisiana isn't just home, it's my happy place. I want to show that to the world. I need this as a reminder on those days when life is tough. This would be a symbolic reminder of all of the happy times that Louisiana gave me before I moved on to the next chapters in my life. 

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You can see more about the items I've selected by clicking on the pictures. If you want to purchase any of them for me, I'll love you forever! (And like you for always) 

Until next time, y'all!

The One Where My Date Called Me Racist

Ok, so I may have decided last night to let November be a month where I just share stories from my past. In honor of my friend Whitney and her love for the TV show Friends, I'm also going to title them in the same way they titled their episodes. Cool? (It's cool...)

The first and last blind date I've ever had was one summer when I was taking classes at the college close to my home. My friend set me up with one of his friends that we'll call him Bob, since I can't remember his name. Bob had a good job, was smart, funny, loved sports, and my friend just KNEW I would be into him.

After a few calls and texts back and forth, Bob and I agreed to go on a date. He kept mentioning that he wanted to take me to this intimate Italian restaurant in town. I kept telling him that the times I had eaten there, it had not turned out well for the home team. My friend also told him that there was no love between the food there and my stomach, and he hoped that Bob would pick a different restaurant before date night arrived.

Date night arrived, and I left my brother's apartment to meet Bob at the meeting place we had arranged. I arrived early (in my family if you aren't 10 minutes early, then you're late) and waited. Meeting time came and went, and Bob was not responding to any of my calls or text messages. An hour after our scheduled meeting time, I drove back to my brother's apartment. I changed into my lounge clothes and settled in to watch a movie.

30 minutes after I got back, Bob finally calls and says that he was tied up in a meeting and couldn't answer his phone. I still agreed to go out with him, but this meant he had to meet me at my brother's place. Bob wasn't happy with waiting on me to change back into my date clothes, and the drive to the restaurant was a little tense.

My heart sank when I realized that Bob had not listened to anything my friend or I had told him, as we pulled into the Italian restaurant that hates me. I put on a smile and ordered a salad. Salads are harmless, right? Bob blew up in the restaurant. He told me that if I was going to just order a salad, then he would just order a dessert. He then yelled that it was stupid for him to agree to go out with me anyway.

He walked away from the table and the waiter asked if I needed him to call someone to come get me. I told him that I would be fine, and I just needed to get through the date.

After Bob cooled down and we ate our salad and dessert, we left to go to a movie. Bob was complaining about being hungry, so I told him he could just pull into a McDonalds drive thru and grab something to eat if he was hungry. This did not sit well with Bob. (This was becoming a theme of the date.)

There was nothing playing at the movie theater that we wanted to see, so I suggested picking one of the random movies playing at the $1 theater in town. That did not sit well with Bob, and he let everyone in line know it. I was the cheapest date he had ever had, and that didn't sit well with him. (When is being frugal a bad thing?)

After we got inside the movie, he wanted to make out. That didn't sit well with me. You don't get to be an asshole to me all night, and then expect me to make out with you (or give it up) later. That didn't sit well with Bob. We drove back to my brother's house in silence, and Bob didn't even stop the car completely to let me out.

The next day Bob called and told me if he had known I was racist, then he would not have agreed to the date in the first place. I was stunned, and asked him where he got the sense that I was racist. He said that the fact that I didn't want to make out with him proved that I was racist, as well as the fact that I only ordered a salad and water at dinner and not a full meal and a glass of wine.

I let him hang up on me because I was in shock. One, I don't drink wine. Two, I told him, repeatedly, that the food at that restaurant was richer than what my stomach could handle. Three, he was 2 HOURS LATE in picking me up with no phone call to let me know! Four, he yelled at me in the restaurant to the point that a waiter had to ask if I wanted him to call someone to get me.

I would say that me not liking Bob had more to do with him being an asshole than his race. Assholes come in all races, and I'm not fond of any of them. Unless asshole is a race, and I'm unaware. Then yes, I'm racist towards assholes.

The One Where A Stranger Showed Kindness

It's November and my co-worker and I were talking about how the obvious thing for anyone to do on a blog in the month of November is a month of posts on things they are thankful for. While I'm sure I'll gravitate to a little of that this month, I wanted to share a story of kindness from long ago that has stuck with me.

When I was in college, I spent a semester in London. For the first month of the semester, we stayed at a bed and breakfast in the middle of London until we learned our way around. After that, we were placed with our homestay families.

We didn't get lucky like most of our classmates to have a family that lived along the Tube line. I knew how to navigate the Tube. Buses and trains, that was a whole 'nother ballgame, and getting to my new home required taking a train. (Public transportation is practically nonexistent in Louisiana.)

The first time I had to navigate the train, I was FREAKING OUT! It took me over 30 minutes to find the train that was going in the right direction. The thing I didn't know about trains? That some of them are express trains, and some of them don't stop at every station on the way to the final destination.

I was mortified when the train whizzed past my stop. It took a minute to register what was happening. I was on an express train out of London. I knew my pass was only good through Zone 3, and my stop was on the border of Zones 3 and 4.

When I heard them coming by to check tickets, I began to cry. I didn't have enough money to pay for a pass to cover the rest of the trip AND to come back. I know the other passengers in the car were probably wondering what was wrong with the crazy American bawling her eyes out on the train, but the man coming around to check tickets sat down next to me and asked what was wrong.

I explained to him that I had just moved in with the family, and didn't fully understand how the trains worked. I then had to embarrass myself more by telling him that I didn't have enough money to cover the remainder of the fare and the fare back...and that I actually didn't have enough money to cover both.

I'm not sure what reaction I was expecting, but I wasn't expecting him to tell me not to worry, explain to me how to read the train maps and tell me that I needed to make sure the train was calling my station before getting on, and then he gave me money to cover my return fare. It was, and still is, one of the nicest things a stranger has ever done for me.

When I was in London, I was going through a point in my life where I didn't trust people. I was struggling with some personal issues and trying to build up the strength to leave some personal demons in the past that had followed me to London. This stranger's act of kindness made a huge impact on me.

I share this story to remind all of us as we go through this season of gratitude leading into the holiday season that there are people all around us that need a little kindness. It may not seem like a huge deal for us to stop and explain something as simple as a train map, but to them it could mean everything. Let's not make being kind to strangers just a holiday thing, let's start now and keep it going.

Being Sick Sucks

I planned on writing a blog post on Saturday about what my goals would be for the month, but that didn't happen. When I got home from my volleyball game on Thursday night, I wasn't feeling so hot. I woke up Friday morning feeling horrible (it seems to be a stomach virus).

 I didn't have time to be sick because our homecoming game was Saturday, so I spent yesterday afternoon and will continue spending today resting and recouping before a busy month.

I don't get sick often, and I'll be the first person to admit that I'm horrible at being sick. I push myself to workout and continue to do everything that I would normally do.  

Not today. 

Today, now that I can be sick for a day, all I'm going to do is eat my jello and soup, do some laundry, and rest. 

I don't rest very well, but hopefully I can get sucked into some good books and The Biggest Loser and maybe sleep a little bit. 

Hope everyone enjoys their Monday!