Three years ago tomorrow, I embarked on the scariest journey of my life. I woke up the day after my office baby shower in pain. I couldn't get out of bed because I was in so much pain. My parents had arrived in Tennessee the night before for my shower (a surprise to me on all ends!) and planned to stay with me until my daughter was born. (Due date being 2 weeks later) I didn't feel like I Was in labor, so I just opted to stay in bed for an extra hour.
Once I gave in to the idea of going to the hospital, I was in such a daze (while screaming for drugs and offering anything, literally ANYTHING, in exchange for said drugs) that I didn't have time to process what was actually happening. Once the "real" labor started, my dad got caught in the room and spent the entire time staring out the window at the VA hospital next door, and taking phone calls from concerned relatives and relatives by choice that I finally yelled at him to stop taking calls while I pushed. When kiddo was finally out, the nurse laid her on my chest and we gave each other "oh shit, what now" looks. (Kiddo had this look mastered coming out of the womb...proud mom here.)
Working in college athletics has made for an interesting dynamic with my parents living with me part time and kiddo staying with them part time, but these past three years have led me to reflect on things I am grateful for that kiddo's birth has brought about:
1) I'm grateful that I have family and family by choice who have stepped up to be involved in my daughter's life.
2) I'm grateful that my doctor, knowing how terrified I was, stayed after her shift at the hospital was over to make sure she was there to deliver my daughter.
3) I'm grateful that a position opened at a school in Texas exactly when I needed one to open up so I could move closer to my family.
4) I'm grateful that kiddo has taught me how to be more patient and to slow down with life.
5) I'm grateful that kiddo has taught me what it truly means to love another person,
These past three years haven't been easy. In fact, they've been the most challenging three years of my life. They've forced me to grow up in ways that I didn't know I needed to grow up. They also taught me more about how to love the life I've been given because it's way better than the life I had imagined for myself. Thanks for the past three years, puddin. Mommy loves you.
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