Lessons Learned Dating

I had full intentions of making this blog more than just a weekly update, but with how crazy busy things have been with work it seems like fate has decided that it should be that way for a bit. Also, the kiddo is usually at the g-parents for the weekends and I don’t have to try to think of a clever summary of my day after she goes to bed. There are a few things that I wanted to address that aren't normal blog topics, and I guess this post will do just that.

ADENTURES IN MOMMYHOOD

Well, I guess this one kind of ties in to the #moty theme of the blog. To catch some of you who may not know up, my parents watch the kiddo for me during the day while I’m at work and they stay with me during the week and then take the kiddo to their house on weekends. The kiddo, much like me when I was younger, spends most of her time with her grandparents. The only difference, I guess, would be that she is always with them as opposed to always being with me. This works for our family and I’m very grateful to my parents for the support they are providing me and the love they have for my little kiddo.

Now that you have some background, we are running into a small problem. The kiddo is going through the separation anxiety phase…and not with me…with Grammy (Bebe to the kiddo).  The kiddo is resilient and is used to being separated from me, so that’s probably why it doesn't faze her when I leave. However, she cannot stand to be away from Grammy. We are dumbfounded because she starts to get upset if Grammy is just going to take a shower and she is left to play with Granddad (Dad-dad to the kiddo). It would make more sense to us if she wasn't always with both of them. We know the people that she is being left with, and know they aren't hurting her. In fact, she even WANTS to go with these people. She’s just starting to freak out after she’s been with them for a bit. We've tried everything people have recommended to us, but so far nothing has worked. Grammy, poor Grammy, feels horrible hearing her cry. Prayers and kind thoughts are appreciated as we go through this. I know the kiddo will outgrow it eventually, but we hope it’s soon.

CRUEL TO BE KIND?

This one is a slight detour from the normal topics of this blog. This week I had to do something that I dreaded doing but knew had to be done. I had been on three dates with this guy who was a really nice guy, but I could tell that he wanted a relationship. I had made things clear up front that I couldn't commit to a relationship right now. However, he acted and treated me like we were in a relationship. It also became clear to me by listening to what he had to say that he wanted to be in a relationship, but he never really made it sound like he wanted to be in a relationship with me, just wanted to be in a relationship. I knew I had to let him know that this wasn't working out and that I wasn't interested in a relationship, especially with Valentine’s Day looming.

Now, I’m not the kind of girl who puts a lot of stock into Valentine’s Day. I don’t expect a guy that I’m in a relationship with to get me a gift for Valentine’s Day. I buy things for my daughter, but that’s different. I buy her a little gift for every holiday. (Example, for Mardi Gras, I bought her a Mardi Gras Princess t-shirt which you will see later J ) BACK ON SUBJECT – I could tell that he was the kind of guy who plans to go all out for Valentine’s Day, especially after he asked if I would mind him cooking for me for Valentine’s Day.

Knowing it had to be done, I spent an entire morning stressing over how to tell him. Since there wasn't a relationship (I don’t consider 3 dates a relationship…I think he did though…) so I felt a text message was fine. I told him that he was a great guy but I could tell he wanted a relationship and that I couldn't give that to him. Then I was nervous waiting on a response. When it came, it made me realize just how right the decision was. It started out by him saying that he knew I wasn't into having a relationship, but he felt if he tried hard enough that he could make me want one. (Newsflash to anyone who is in the dating world – you cannot make someone want a relationship when they don’t want one!) It was followed with the fact that he’s so used to being dumped (Can you call it “being dumped” when there isn't a relationship and you've only been on three dates?) and that he’ll be single forever. (This is the point that I literally rolled my eyes at the attempt of a guilt trip being laid. I don’t tolerate that well.) Later, I got a text saying he was glad I told him because he was planning on buying my Valentine’s Day present that day. (3 dates does NOT constitute buying someone a Valentine’s Day gift!)

What I've learned from all of this is quite simple. I need to continue to be upfront with guys that I date. I feel being upfront doesn't offer false hope for something that isn't there. I also learned that when I know it isn't going to work out, that I should say so immediately. I feel that 3 dates is a good measure of being able to tell if you want to continue seeing this person or not. I don’t feel that telling someone after three dates that it isn't going to work out is harsh; I feel it’s being honest. I would rather be honest with someone and have them try to guilt trip me, then to lead them on for a few months when they've invested a lot more than a few weeks. Also, if you have to pretend to be someone you're not to make the guy happy, get out ASAP. As the song says, sometimes you've got to be cruel to be kind. 

ADVENTURES IN COOKING

I may as well go ahead and share this week's adventure in cooking with you. I went with a recipe that I have made in the past and has been a crowd pleaser - BBQ Beef Cups. These are SUPER easy for those novice chefs such as myself, but tasty enough that people won't think about how simple they are!

           Really, this is all you need!                                      BAM! See, super easy!

Mommy and kiddo approved! 

(Grammy and Granddad approved too...) 

My dad actually told me that I could make these any time I wanted. As you can see, they are easy and quick to make. Brown some ground meat, mix in some BBQ sauce, dump that in refrigerated biscuits that are in muffin tins, top with cheese and BAM! instant crowd pleaser! 

 
#MOTY BOOK CLUB
My first book of the month of February was Wild Pitchers by Dirk Hayhurst. I love Dirk Hayhurst and all of his books that give you a glimpse into the life a professional baseball player are well worth the read, even if you don't like baseball. He is hilarious! Seriously, check him out here. Then buy all three of his books. In fact, if you tell me that you want them has a birthday or Christmas present, then I will buy them for you. You know I must really think they are good if I'm offering to buy them for you. Trust me, if you like to laugh, then you'll love these. If you don't like to laugh, then you should read them anyway because you should like to laugh.

#MOTY GREATEST HITS PLAYLIST
This is kind of a last minute addition to this post. I did a quick cross-fit-esque workout this morning and then had breakfast and wrote this post and my ITunes has been KILLING IT! Here's what I've been rocking out to:
I Will...But - SheDaisy
New Dark Ages - Bad Religion
Summer of 69 - Bryan Adams
Trouble With Goodbye - LeAnn Rimes
Ain't No Rest For The Wicked - Cage the Elephant
Dearly Beloved (Acoustic) - Bad Religion
Carry On - FUN
Only Prettier - Miranda Lambert
The Show Must Go On - Queen
Beer on the Table - Josh Thompson
Getting Away With Murder - Papa Roach
Santeria - Sublime
Just a Dream - Cover
Supersoul - Dilana
Jessie's Girl - Rick Springfield
Call Me Maybe/Payphone Mashup
Drive By - Train

This post brought to you by the letter I for ITunes and Folgers Coffee. Off to work, so just throwing a quick shoutout - Go #LUSoftball! It's an exciting day in the history of the program as it's the first Opening Day after a 25 year hiatus. It's sure to be crazy, but hopefully lots of fun!