Friday Faves - Summer Edition

A few friends told me that Friday Faves is apparently a thing. They could just be trying to trick me into doing at least one blog post a week, so we'll see how long that lasts before life gets in my way. To honor the unofficial start of summer, I've decided to do a Summer edition of Friday Faves:

(1) The Game of Thrones Series

My brother loaned me the Game of Thrones books because he thought I would enjoy them and he was right. I LOVE them. I have 10 chapters left in A Feast of Crows and then I'll be able to start on A Dance With Dragons. I don't know how I'm going to keep myself occupied until the next book is finished after that though! 

(2) Baseball 

I love baseball, and I love keeping score during games. I keep score when I watch them at home as well as when I attend them live. Summer gives me LOTS of time to get my inner baseball stat nerd on. 

(3) Music

Yes, that is an old school MP3 player that is holding on for dear life. We've been through a lot together and as long as he can hold out, I'll continue to use him. 

(4) My Idea Notebook

I always carry my idea notebook with me. Yes, it is a One Direction notebook. That is the strategic part because nobody is trying to steal this notebook from me!  I keep ideas for blog posts, gift ideas, thoughts from things that I've seen or read that I want to discuss with someone later. This notebook holds LOTS of random thoughts.

(5) My crock pot

During the summer, I try to do more crock pot cooking to help cut own on electric costs. I'm trying to get more in the habit of crock pot cooking because it works better with my schedule, but the summers are when I thrive in the crock pot cooking department.

Reality TV Lessons - My Five Wives

I got sucked into My Five Wives. It was ok, but after seeing Sister Wives I had higher expectations. I guess my heart and my brain was having a hard time accepting another reality tv polygamist family into my life since I already had one that I loved and wanted back on my tv. At first, I didn't really think that I had gotten anything out of the show, but I the more I look back on my opinions of the show this season, the more I realize that it reinforced to me how there are some things that you know but don't necessarily want to know or think about.

When your husband is married to 4 other women, you know that they are intimate together. The topic of their sex life came up more often than I expected on the show and the wives were all in agreement that they weren't naive enough to think he wasn't being intimate with the other wives, both emotionally and physically, but it's not something they really want details on. Nobody was really wanting to compare sex lives, and one wife even said that while she knew it was going on that she didn't like to think about it. I totally get where she's coming from on that one.

In a similar, although no where near identical, vein, my boyfriend has two very close female friends that he has no hesitation about telling them that he loves them. He does this in person, over text, via social media, etc. It's not something that he'll say often, but he will say it. He has no problem declaring his love for them for others to see. I understand that he loves them as friends, and that it's a different kind of love than the love he has for me, but it still bothered me to think about it. It bothered me even more to see him expressing it, and this week I made a tough decision.

I decided, for my sanity and the good of our relationship, to unfollow my boyfriend on Twitter. I realized that I had some to a position that these wives had all reached and overcome at some point in their relationships with Brady. I know that he loves these women as friends, but I don't need to see him telling them that he loves them. I have to give my boyfriend some credit for severely toning down his flirting because I told him that I don't want to see it. I know asking him to stop these interactions with two of his closest friends isn't an option to still be in this relationship. Honestly, I'm 98% sure that he only loves them as friends. (I would say 100%, but the last time I felt that way, a guy I was moving across the country for left me for the girl he loved as a friend.) I just know that I reached a point where I could at least, on a smaller level, relate to something that these wives have gone through. I know that, in some way, he loves them, but I have chosen not to put myself in a position to make myself even more jealous by seeing it expressed. Sometimes it's best to know, but not really know.

Road Trip!

On Saturday, we (kiddo, the folks, and I) begin our summer vacation. I'm extremely excited and can't wait to hit the road. My aunt who lives in Tennessee loaned me a crib to use when I had kiddo, and since she is now moving into a big girl bed, we are making the trip to Tennessee to return it. Our epic adventure will start with stops in Mississippi and Alabama before we hit our destination of Knoxville, TN. It'll be nice to see family that we don't normally get to see. It will be even nicer to spend a few days in a cabin in the Smoky Mountains. (This is my mom's dream vacation, so I'm excited for her!)

On our way back home, we'll make a pass by Nashville to see my "family" that I used to work with when I lived there, a pass by Jackson to see some friends of ours who moved there a while back, and then spend the night on the TN/Alabama border before heading back to Louisiana/Texas.

I started packing last night and can't WAIT to get on the road and take some time off that's longer than either a day here or there or a long weekend. I finished up my massive summer project for work, and I'm trying really hard not to mentally check out before the week is out. In my brain, I'm this guy right now:

Glad You Came

When I was living in Tennessee, a friend introduced me to a British boyband called The Wanted. He was so excited when he saw them on the jukebox at a bar, and was anxious to share them with America. The first song I heard was "Glad You Came" and I wasn't really into it. I wrote them off for a while as not my cup of tea, but then I heard their single "All Time Low".

This is the song that won me over. From that point on, I was a fan. I moved to Texas, and they came close to me with Carly Rae Jepson (Call Me Maybe) last summer. I wasn't going to make the drive to see them by myself, and I'm not really into her, so I decided to be patient and wait for them to come back. I was confident that they would come back. I slowly introduced this group to my best friend and she fell in love. We anxiously awaited their third album and a tour that would go along with it. 

In October, we purchased tickets to see them in May. They were coming the day after our busy sports season ended, so we felt it was fate. Then, the blow came that the group was taking a hiatus. Our hearts fell, and we were convinced that the show would be canceled. Almost daily we would check their website, the venue's website, and any sites we could find to confirm that the show was still on. The show did happen, and May 5, 2014, will be day that will stay "Gold Forever". Seeing a group that we may never see live again with your best friend makes for some awesome memories. 

Jay

Max

Nathan and his little Heart Vacancy girl. Isn't she adorable?

Siva

Tom

 This day was awesome, and I know that our summer of live music will only continue to get better. I'm very glad that I gave these guys another listen. So while they spent the end of the show thanking the fans, to that I have one response. Jay, Max, Nathan Siva, Tom, thank you, I'm glad you came.

Adios, boys. It was a blast! 

Summer Project

I've sort of made a challenge for myself over the course of this year, and have decided to REALLY get into it this summer. I'm trying very hard to make 2014 the year that I learn to settle on a budget. I have a feeling that 2014 may not be the year I get it all under control, but I want it to be the year that I start getting a better grip on my finances. Being a single mom with one paycheck that isn't a whole lot with a job that has so much unpaid overtime that I can't get a second job, has been a reality shock. (For those of you who don't know my whole story, I quit a career that I made double in to follow my passion and then got knocked up unexpectedly and baby daddy is nowhere to be found.) Here are some of the money saving goals that I've set for the summer (and a few that have been year long).

SUMMER PROJECT

1. Begin to read through the Couponing to Disney guide on how to begin "couponing to Disney" aka figure out a budget and stick with it. 

2. Read and follow these blogs for ideas and inspiration on how to live on a budget: 

 - Money Saving Mom

- Couponing to Disney

- Living Well Spending Less

3. Institute one or two No Spending months. I have deemed May a no spending month, but that's turning into less of a reality since I realized just how much I had going on in May (two concerts, two baseball games and a family vacation). May has been more of a month of sticking to the spending budget since all of those events were planned prior to May (tickets already purchased) and now it's more me sticking to a set amount to spend while at those events. 

4. Master aps such as Shopkick and Checkout 51. I've been using Shopkick for about a year now, and have used it for earning gift cards to support my pizza addiction. I just started using Checkout 51, but already have $4.50 in my account, and can't wait to hit $20 request my first check! 

5. Savings Jar. My Pinterest has been blowing up with people and their "Save $1 a week jar!" This sounds great in theory. You begin with $1 a week and then add $1 per week to the amount from the week before. I knew that would be a little tough for my budget, so I began with a quarter a week and have gone from there. So far I've got $69 in my jar! (I usually just put the amount for the weeks during the month in at the beginning of the month to make sure I don't spend them!) 

6. Menu plan based on what items I have, what items are on sale, and what items I have coupons for. This is the bulk of my summer project. It will probably be a new 6 month project because it will take me a while to get fully used to shopping this way. I don't have much storage space, so I can't purchase too many items at a time. 

So there you have it! I may be using this blog to work through the process of my summer project. With my rent increasing, kiddo's school tuition going up, and our cable bill going up, it's time to get serious about saving money. I'm already a master at frugal entertainment, but I'm about to get Jedi Master status over the next 6 months. 

When Disappointment Happens

I posted this on the blog my bestie and I have about our relationships, or lack there of, but I felt the need to share it here as well. This morning I experienced something that I never fully understood, and until you're a single parent who is dating, I don't know that you can ever fully understand it. I've had some pretty not so great dating experiences in my past, and this relationship seemed as if it was almost my reward for having put up with so much crap. I know that there are always ups and downs, and this is in no way a full reflection of our relationship, but it's what I'm feeling right now, so I felt I would share it here on my "mommy issues" blog as well:

Well, I hate to say that I called it. I began to believe that I had pegged this one wrong.  I was so convinced that I had it wrong, that I blacked out in Michael's and asked E if he wanted to meet the kid. Yea, you read that correctly, I asked E to meet my kid. The meeting was scheduled for Sunday. I've been nervous about this, because this is huge. All of you who read this know that I don't let kiddo meet just anyone. It's not something that I take lightly. E seemed excited. I kept asking if he was sure because I wanted him to tell me sooner rather than later if this was something that he wasn't down for. Let me tell you, asking someone to meet your kid is a whole new level of exposing yourself that I got but didn't fully get until this morning.

All week E has been telling me how excited he is about coming this weekend, how excited he is about meeting kiddo, etc. Even as late as yesterday, things were still on. This morning he sends me a text telling me that he can't come because he doesn't have the money to make the trip. A few things went through my head as I dropped to floor and started crying. Granted, I had been trying to prepare myself for this. Even when this started, I was under the impression that when E was done with school, he would be done with me too. I didn't want to believe it, but I kept it in the back of my mind and tried to prepare myself for that to happen. (It's probably just a major coincidence that he finished this week, right? RIGHT?) The next thought was that it's one thing for someone to reject me (it's happened plenty of times before, so I'm not shocked when it happens), but it's another thing to feel the rejection when you're a single parent and you've offered for someone to meet your kid. The rejection cuts deeper and it's not something that can be easily fixed. There was an extreme amount of trust thrown out there that I felt got thrown back in my face with a bullshit excuse this morning.

Here's why I find the excuse to be a bullshit one. If it was a money issue, it would not have just arisen this morning. This would have been an issue all week, and should have been addressed earlier in the week. I'm less likely to buy that it's an issue with money when you tell me the morning of that you can't come. I also find it hard to believe it when a few hours into talking about it you still offer to come. If you didn't have the money to come earlier in the conversation, you don't have the money now, so why make the offer? That's just pouring salt in the wound.

Do I believe that it really is a money issue? Honestly, I don't know what I believe right now. All I know is that I'm extremely hurt. I wasn't prepared for this to happen this morning, and I should have been. I've always kept myself prepared, kept a few walls up to make sure things like this morning wouldn't hurt me when they happened. I guess that's the point many of you have tried to make to me over the years is that if I'm not willing to put both feet in, then I'll never experience the REO Speedwagon moment that I try to pretend I don't want. You may be right.

Before the texts starting flooding in, am I upset that E isn't coming this weekend? Of course, I'm upset. I thought things were going well and that this would be a good thing. I was looking forward to it, and it's not going to happen. It's no different than being told it's pizza day only to be handed a pb/j sandwich. (Ok, so maybe that scenario is worse...) The thing that I'm most upset about it is that this could have been prevented if E had just told me earlier that it wasn't going to happen. I'm more upset that I trust him enough to meet my kid, but he doesn't trust me enough to tell me he can't do this. I'm upset that a possible real reason is looking more like an excuse because of poor timing. The thing that upsets me most is that he let me get my hopes up when he knew he was just going to back out later. I think that's the part that hurts the most.